by antoniohno

Fear: Why Most Smokers Are Afraid To Be An Ex Smoker

As human beings we experience many different kinds of emotions. Every day, we can and do experience emotions like happiness, pride, disappointment, disgust, anticipation etc. etc. The few that I have mentioned are in technical terms called “secondary emotions” (there are many others but I don’t want to go into them all as they are not relevant to the point here and they stem from primary emotions.) The primary emotions are as follows: Love, Joy, Anger, Surprise, Sadness, and FEAR.

OK, apparently a good explanation of “Fear” I found was this…. Fear is a response to threats and danger. Fear should be distinguished from anxiety, which typically occurs without any external threat. Additionally, fear is related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance, whereas anxiety is the result of threats that are perceived to be uncontrollable or unavoidable.

Look at that again …check the part about “Escape and avoidance” What does that mean to you? To me as a smoker “Escape and avoidance” were exactly related to the main cause of why I failed to stop smoking so many times in the past. As a smoker who wanted desperately to stop, I was using fear as my primary emotion and excuse to escape from going through the transition of smoker to non-smoker. That fear is created by a powerful force and source that I will mention later. The “avoidance” element is pretty straightforward.

I used the fear of what would happen when I stopped smoking as an excuse. So this created the avoidance of being an ex-smoker. That fear and avoidance is so prolific because something so powerful and remarkable that convinces millions of smokers not to give up, but to continue, was actually convincing me too.
What was it? What was and is that “Powerful Something”? I will tell you what it is. It is the lies and deceit distributed or endorsed by your Government, the Media and other smokers who believe it. These comical lies are the reasons we have the fear to stop smoking and they are as follows…
You will suffer terrible withdrawal pains when you stop smoking.
You won’t be able to cope with stress.
You won’t be able to think straight.
You won’t be able to relax.
You will be miserable.
You won’t enjoy social activities or going out anymore.
You won’t find new friends. (Unbelievable)
You will be bored out of your mind.

There are others it’s true but they are more related to the false reasons for smoking smokers give that makes them pathetically attempt to fortify the excuses as to why they smoke.

So let us look at all of the above listed so called “fears” individually and have a better understanding of each lie and as I would like to call “Myths” and hopefully eliminate possibly your own reasons why in truth you have this “Fear” to stop smoking …or as I would also like to put it in this way…”Why smokers are afraid of Killing the evil drug monster that is slowly but surely killing them and finally escaping from the slavery of nicotine addiction and becoming an ex smoker”

1. You will suffer terrible withdrawal pains when you stop smoking.
This is probably the most common fear that smokers wishing to stop first think about. I did. I remember saying to myself. “Oh Shit what if I can’t deal with the cold turkey?” However as I now know and the majority of ex-smokers also know that in reality you won’t suffer any actual withdrawal pains.

You as a smoker may have this huge misconception because of other smokers who have tried and failed in the past to stop smoking. Or it might be because the T.V. commercials for nicotine replacement products always show a person that has stopped smoking, getting through the difficult and somewhat painful or stressful period when they first stop smoking with the help of their product. (Click HERE for more info about replacement therapy)

Please remember that stopping nicotine addiction or any other drug addiction will make y

our body go through a noticeable change in state or condition in relation to having drugs put inside it and then not having drugs put inside it. It is extremely important that you get this into your head when you finally stop, that something your body has become accustomed to be is no longer that condition so therefore there will be a feeling of change, of emptiness, or even a feeling of being a little restless. Addictive as nicotine is, it is also very easy to abstain from. For me it was like a hunger feeling. But the good news is that it is merely mental because the smoker thinks that they are being stripped of an actual pleasure. What pleasure? So therefore making it out the initial period of stopping smoking to be bigger than what it actually is.

Some smokers think that the cigarette is actually a normal day to day activity in their lives. They have smoked for so long and now smoking to them is an unnoticeable automatic action. But take that away from them and they will soon notice. Within an hour I’m sure. This is drug addiction.

Here is the extremely “Good News”. Remember, when you stop supplying your body with nicotine there is no pain or suffering. The people who start to suffer are the Governments and Tobacco companies. Only good things start to happen to you and any withdrawal feeling that a smoker or you may feel when you stop is very slight and you will suffer more from the flu. Trust me. Believe it.

2. You won’t be able to cope with stress.
Stress is part of life. Period! You, me, and everyone on this planet will in the future suffer from stress or has in the past suffered from it in one way or another. There is no way around this and there are different levels and different types of stress that we all have to deal with. These may be a fight with a loved one, a dispute with a boss or colleague at work, screaming kids. Maybe it is an illness or idiots on the road when you’re driving. The list is endless and life throws them at you every day.

Let’s look at the smoker who has just had a fight with her husband because he forgot to pick up a prescription for her and its Saturday afternoon now and the pharmacy is closed till Monday. The wife has recently been suffering from bad migraines and needed the medicine to get through the weekend. On top of this her mother called at lunchtime to say she couldn’t look after the kids next week because they were going on a mini vacation till next weekend as from Tuesday. The telephone conversation with Mom had already put her in a bad mood as she now has to find and pay for a babysitter to pick up the kids from school most of next week and then hubby comes homes and has completely forgotten to get the medicine she needs. It’s all too much for her and after the somewhat heated exchange with her husband, she storms out of the house to the garden and lights up a cigarette and somehow unknown to her, the cigarette helps her to feel better with the situation. However this is not true. Really not true. What really happened is this. Her last cigarette was 2 hours ago and she is already 1 hour overdue for her nicotine fix when hubby came home. This means that the addiction would have been prompting her that it is time to feed it. Other chores and errands made smoking a cigarette not possible at the time. So naturally she is already irritated because she hasn’t had her nicotine fix and then the normal life stress with Mom and her husband added more irritation or aggravation to her mental state.

When she runs off into the garden for a smoke the nicotine only temporarily relieves the stress of the addiction and not the situation at hand with her loved ones. This illusion is why people think that smoking relieves stress. It only causes it. Because when you smoke realistically you are smoking to get back to a normal state of being that non-smokers enjoy every moment of the day. Non-smokers experience stress in life too. But they don’t reach for the Marlboro’s when it happens. Smokers become accustomed and automatically light up a cigarette in a time of stress, because the stress will always be around when its time for a nicotine fix.

Put it into your brain that smoking does not relieve stress but only causes it. If you have a normal life stress situation however big or small then you can only deal with it in a normal rational humane way. No cigarette ever solved a real problem for me. It only created more. Have only one type of stress in your life to deal with. Not two.

3. You won’t be able to concentrate or think straight.
Your brain is a wonderful, complex and amazing organ. It can do the most incredible things and it is a machine that needs to be well maintained to function normally. Your brain offers you thoughts and inspirations. It supplies you with images of wonderful memories. It holds your history in life. It does thousands of great things. It really is a truly astonishing piece of equipment. However, your brain will not function correctly and it will have slight malfunctions if its natural source of fuel (Oxygen and nutrition filled blood) is contaminated with toxins and elements of hundreds of unnatural chemicals that come exclusively in a cigarette. When you constantly impede your brain and blood with these poisons there will be an effect. And the effect will be in a negative and diminishing way.Life has many distractions when we are trying to concentrate on something particular. It may be other people talking to you, noises from outside, dogs barking, music and other sounds etc. For us to overcome these distractions we might seek a secluded area in order to focus on what needs our concentration. The smoker no matter where he or she goes will never be completely free of any distractions because there is one distraction implanted inside them that will always interrupt and make demands. It is the “Drug Monster” needing his food, nicotine. And he will stop you concentrating for sure.

When you put nicotine and the other toxins that are in cigarettes into your blood system they immediately start screwing up your veins, your nervous system, your blood and all the other stuff you may know about. I think you do. Once this starts it can and will eventually impede your natural ability to focus and concentrate on the job at hand.

When the time comes for concentration, smokers might have the incapacity to proceed because they experience a nicotine induced mental barrier that stops this natural ability to concentrate. They immediately light a cigarette and think this will help but it won’t. The job at hand is still there, the need for concentrating is also still there so they have no other choice but to get on with it like a normal human being does who doesn’t smoke, when they extinguish the cigarette. Smokers would never blame this inability to concentrate on the cigarette. When they try to stop smoking and the need for periods of concentration comes along and they find it difficult, they blame stopping smoking as the culprit.

I often have times that require long periods of concentration and I do not need a cigarette to start or help me along with it. That’s because human beings don’t need nicotine to function normally. The association with the stress of the objective and the stress of the addiction will only cause you to think that the cigarette will help you concentrate. It won’t. GET IT INTO YOUR HEAD NOW!! If you believe that smoking will aide your ability to concentrate more and that you will suffer without nicotine to do this then you are just certifying failure from the start.

Evidently even to this day after not poisoning myself for such a long time my concentration is STILL intact and HAS somewhat improved. That’s what being an ex smoker has done to me.

4. You won’t be able to relax.
Imagine this. You have been told by your boss that you have to go to a very important work related conference, which is going to last for three and a half hours and he wants you to write down word for word everything that the speakers say. Also the bad news is that the conference hall is strictly non smoking. This is bad news because as a smoker you’re not going to think “Shit! Three and a half hours of listening to some boring conference” You’re going to think “Shit! Three and a half hours without a cigarette! I’m going to die! ” Now on the other hand, if you were a non smoker maybe you will have a moan about having to go to the conference and not be too overjoyed about what your boss wants you to do but so what, shit happens and you will put up with it, and get the job done. But as a smoker there is one thing that completely rules everything else in your life and that is because you are subject to nicotine slavery. You cannot relax until the “Drug Monster” is fed and relaxed himself. But don’t forget (as you know) that it’s only going to be temporary right? Imagine if you were on the brink of a promotion and this conference report would almost certainly guarantee it. But After one hour into the conference Drug Monster needs his fix so you sneak off to find a place where you can give it to him. Only to miss the most crucial part of the conference because it took you 10 minutes to get outside because it’s a completely smoke free building, and ten minutes to smoke it then ten minutes to get back. When your boss finds out that you missed the part he most certainly needed, what then. Even though it was the fault of the slavery you’re not going to be forgiven so easily. What about that promotion? We know… right?

Smokers can’t relax period!

Even after a meal or sex they need that fix. Watch how smokers behave after a meal. They start to fidget and look detached. They need that drug so that they can feel like a non smoker does. The cigarette after the meal is like a home coming party for them. But it’s only because they feel satisfied from the food and it’s naturally time for the fix anyway, that they think it’s a good smoke. Hilarious! Watch that same person when he can’t smoke after a meal. Compare them to a non smoker after a meal. Now that is natural relaxation. A smoker who can’t smoke will rip up the carpet and light it if he had to. It’s true. Just to get to a relaxed state like a non smoker. I once ripped open a tea bag and stuffed it in a cigarette paper and smoked it. It might as well have been an old sock. And the taste Yuk!!…my god! What an idiot I was. What kind of slavery does these things to us? It was the slavery of nicotine that’s what. How can you be a smoker and be relaxed? it’s impossible. Trust me! Believe me! I am so much more relaxed now as an ex-smoker. I can watch a movie completely without having to go out for a smoke. I can cuddle Livia after sex and not think about or stink of tobacco. The moment you stop smoking all this will change. You can and will become a relaxed person. You have wonderful experiences to look forward to and not being interrupted every hour for a nicotine fix. You will be in control and you will be relaxed. Nicotine steals this ability to relax.

Smoking tobacco is just like drinking sea water while your dying of thirst adrift in the middle of the ocean. Eventually the temporary relief the sea water gives only creates a bigger need and the more you drink will theoretically kill you.

5. You will be miserable.
This actually is something that makes me smirk when I hear smokers say this. What is going to make you more miserable? The suffering, the slavery, the poison, the cost, the smell, the potential outcome, the loss, the many other shit things you pay the price for, or freedom from all the above?
You have to be a sadist or a complete idiot to want all of the above. I can’t think of anything better in my life now than to be completely free of that slavery. You will only be miserable if you allow yourself to be miserable. You are free from a prison. Jump for joy. You are going to live longer …jump for joy…You will be in control of your life…jump for joy…You will taste food, have better sex, save money, smell good…jump for joy!!!! If you do all this, it will give you no time to be miserable. Really, believe me, in the back of smokers’ and your mind right now you are already miserable because you smoke and that hounds you all day. Be free, be happy. Like me and millions of other people who stopped smoking.

6. You won’t enjoy social activities or going out anymore
It is true that nowadays more and more cities around the world are making public places smoke free zones. This is fantastic and it is great news not just for the non-smokers of this world, but for the actual smokers who want to become ex-smokers. The reason being is that they have more smoke free places to go to which can help them become ex-smokers quickly if they like to go out socializing with friends. When you stop smoking and you have been used to going out with friends to bars and restaurants where smoking is permitted, and of course you are used to having that glass of wine or bottle of beer in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other, then eliminating smoking from these social activities (which you have become accustomed to over time and now it’s automatic) in the beginning without some formal education and planning, will make you not last five minutes in a social and smoking environment before you want another cigarette.

You need to understand the reasons why you and millions of other smokers who gather socially with friends in bars, nightclubs and discotheques, think it is natural to be drinking and smoking together. This is because socially the majority of smokers have been fooled by the media and the tobacco companies that to enjoy social gatherings it is better or cooler to smoke. Look at movies and videos. They promote smoking extensively like this. When you are with friends on a Friday night in a bar having fun, laughing and joking whilst the alcohol is stimulating your senses in a good way, It’s only natural not to be concerned about how much your smoking. Not just the ones in your hand put also the ones that everybody else is smoking. Now as a smoker, try to imagine the same great night with your friends but without the cigarettes. What differences would there be? I’m sure you can name a few and for sure they will only be “Drug Addiction” related. Will your friends be any less funny or admirable? Will the music in the bar sound different? Will that glass of wine taste differently? Will the conversations be more boring? NO NO NO and NO again! That’s because smokers are sucked into an illusion. A trap that is so powerful that it actually covers up the reality of social enjoyment beautifully. You CAN enjoy your friends’ company, the wine, the music, the fun and everything else that comes with having fun socially without tobacco.

At social gatherings cigarettes have two functions. Firstly they are still the needed drug for the smoker, and secondly they are just a prop, a tool , used by tobacco companies to show that smoking is cool to do when you’re out having fun.

There is nothing cool about smoking. Period! What is cool about killing yourself?

You can go bowling without having to smoke. You can go for a walk in a botanical garden without having to smoke. You can sit in a restaurant without having to smoke. You can drink a glass of wine and talk to friends without having to smoke. This is because all these activities DO NOT require nicotine to enjoy them. When people say they can’t have a glass of wine without having a cigarette, then this is because they have be disillusioned and trapped at the same time. Disillusioned by the media, and trapped by the nicotine addiction. Why don’t non smokers reach for nicotine when they eat in restaurants to enjoy the food? Why can they be together at parties or other social gatherings and laugh and enjoy each other’s company without having to smoke. That’s because in life and to do normal fun things, you don’t need nicotine, cigarettes or tobacco to enjoy them.

Smokers are afraid that if they go to a bar or club and they can’t smoke, then it will be impossible for them to enjoy themselves. What a load of bull. I go out everywhere and have great fun with my friends and I don’t need to smoke to enjoy it. In fact, smoking would make it a miserable night. That’s because smoking is only for feeding an addiction and nothing more. There is no way that anyone who says they enjoy a glass of wine with a cigarette, can justify that the wine tastes better because of the cigarette. Silly! In fact the wine’s taste is actually being compromised by the cigarette. When you do stop smoking the change of the taste in foods and drinks is amazing. That’s because your tongue and taste receptors get back to normal when you stop poisoning them. Also, there is no way that anyone can justify that to enjoy a night out with friends can only be done with cigarettes. This is ludicrous to believe. The reason why I enjoy going out MORE is because I don’t have those dark questions in my mind about smoking. I don’t worry about questions like if the next cigarette is going to give me cancer. I am free from the slavery, so therefore I am happier than before, which means that I can enjoy life more. And enjoy a life that has been given back to me from me.

Don’t be a fool and succumb to the traps laid down by the tobacco companies. They attack and advertise at social gatherings because that is what humans like to do. We are social animals. But we didn’t become social because of nicotine. Nicotine stops us from enjoying this natural activity. You can completely enjoy life without tobacco. I promise you. You are not sacrificing anything in order to enjoy your social life. Nicotine is not the staple to enjoyment. You and your family are. Nicotine is an evil unnecessary thing that diminishes the enjoyment of life completely.

7. You wont find new friends. (Unbelievable! I heard someone actually say this.)
I have more friends now than I did when I was a smoker. I have them because I eliminated certain borders in my life that nicotine addiction puts up. I have improved my level of fitness immensely over the last year that I just cant believe the energy levels I now have, even after working an eight or nine hour day. Bear with me as this is not about health, but making new friends. And there is a relevant point as to why I am talking about my health. Generally in my life I have always been active and I always have done some sort of sport. But as a smoker I really was holding my enjoyment back because I would not be able to go past a certain level of fitness because of the limitations to your lung and blood capacity that nicotine and smoking causes. I would go to the gym , do some weights , the static bike, then a punch bag. But even with this form of exercise and a good diet, I was always being followed by the dark questions in my mind as to who do I think I am kidding doing all these sports trying to look good on the outside, but knowing full fact that my insides were being poisoned and the two just don’t go together. Smoking and sport is a huge No No.

My point here is this. Sport, whether as a profession or as a hobby should always be enjoyed. It’s true that to excel in your chosen sport you need to make some kind of effort to improve your level or skill in it. But still, even this should be enjoyed, and any results that show improvement make it worth the effort, and you feel great because of your achievements. Now as a smoker you can’t do this because you are constantly nagging yourself, fighting with the addiction and suffering from forced limitations.

This takes away the true element of sport or fun activities that require some work from your lungs. As i mentioned, I used to pump weights and I would look in the mirror and see great outside results but I knew I was a mug and I was only lying to myself because to achieve a true healthy strong body did not mean just big muscles, but it meant good strong lungs, a strong heart and clean oxygenated blood. Strong nerve endings, and a whole bunch of other stuff you need to be a completely health strong muscular athlete. I had the muscles. That was it. The rest of me inside was being poisoned and I knew it and I hated it. It was this, that took away the enjoyment of the sport I was doing. I am a good swimmer. I used to play water polo and I knew that I could be great at this sport but something more evil was stopping my potential and that was “Drug Monster”. Being a nicotine addict and doing sports will not make you happy in the long run.

Now, as an ex-smoker this has changed unbelievably in ways that I can’t express. The only thing that I can say is that as a 42-year-old man, I have more energy and strength as I did in my early thirties since I stopped smoking. The sport I do now is “Muay Thai” it is the national sport of Thailand, which is a martial art that combines boxing with strikes from all parts of the body. I don’t intend to go out and bust someone’s nose but I do it for the physical demand it puts on me. If you check out this sport for information you will notice that a smoker would not be able to cope with the training required to do this sport. It’s tough, it’s hard and it hurts sometimes but you know something, I enjoy it so much because of two things.

The first thing is that it tests my levels of fitness and also increases it every week. This is great and I am happy that my fitness levels are improving constantly. I can kiss this goodbye if I was still smoking. No limits to my fitness are laid down by smoking and drug addiction. I am the one who controls my limits and my capacities. Complete control of your life is fantastic. Please believe me. And you can only experience this beautiful feeling when you are a non-smoker.

The second is all the new friends I have made at the club. I have become happier in my life because I am surrounded by a great bunch of guys and girls. (who are non-smokers by the way too) I don’t feel lonely during the week. I don’t feel bored during the week because I have something to look forward to three times a week at the gym, and it’s great when we get together to meet for dinner or bowling. It is so good to have this in my life now. I am not saying that as a smoker you won’t or don’t have friends. All I am saying is that any new activities or hobbies that you start can be fully enjoyed and they can bring new friends into your life by making it happier and more fulfilling in everyway. If you Smoke 40 cigarettes a day, you are not going to go out and meet people in other great , smoke free places. Maybe at the moment you only go to bars and clubs. But as an ex-smoker you can broaden your horizons, eliminate boredom, join clubs, and most importantly, be happy and meet new friends. Also, because I have chosen to help other people become an ex-smoker like I am, I am interacting with hundreds of people from around the world who seek my help and are making my life worthwhile again. It is wonderful! Nicotine addiction cannot help do this or anything like this because it is always on top of your priorities in life. And it only impedes your confidence, and the true qualities that you should be expressing everyday of your life. Stop being controlled by nicotine.

Just remember to get out there and meet new people. Join clubs. Go learn belly dancing or swimming. Go do anything that requires some sort of physically activity and where you can’t smoke and you will love it because it’s new, it’s healthy, you will make friends and most of all you will be a completely different and happier human being! I promise.

8. You will be bored out of your mind.
Please read No.7 again!!! That should drop a hint regarding the fear about boredom. Just remember that boredom is a state of mind. If your bored do something other than poison yourself.

So…what is there to be afraid of now that you have read this article? Nothing! Absolutely nothing I promise you?