Habits

May 17, 2011

Bad Habits That Control Us!

Bad Habits That Control Us!

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Home Page > Self Improvement > Coaching > Bad Habits That Control Us!

Bad Habits That Control Us!

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Bad habits that control us

By Dr. Michael Brooks
The smell of flowers can be a wonderful memory or a very painful experience to some of us. I remember standing before my sisters casket several months ago, smelling her flowers that lined the back wall of the funeral home. They were beautiful, and in full bloom. I had her son on my right, with my arm around his shoulder, and my daughter Alissa to my left with my arm around her. I stared at my sisters face, trying to imagine her sleeping, I just couldn’t do it, it wasn’t working for me. The music in the background, was music she would have hated. She was a ZZ top, deadhead, rock and roll chick. I was hearing harps, old organ hymns playing over the intercom, while hearing whispers of people behind me. It was starting getting dark, the doors opened around 4:00 PM that late cloudy November afternoon.

I stood there what seemed for hours, but really several minutes passed by. So much raced through my mind, why did she have to die so young? I had plenty of answers, I knew the reasons, but did she? I thought, how can someone knowingly continue to poison their body after watching both their parents pass away from the painful death, from smoking and drinking?

I used to beg my mom and dad to quit smoking, both were two pack a day smokers. My sister Deb was 2 packs a day, yet she never stopped or wanted to. She was being controlled by her smokes, a deadly bad habit. I also asked her to reconsider her smoking habits. I told her that we wanted her around to grow old with and enjoy times together. I kept staring at her face and listening to the music she probably would have made fun of. I turned and walked away back to the row chairs where the rest of the family was and sat down.

Her son Joey, who didn’t have a very good relationship with her, stood there another 5 minutes. I watched him as he stood in front of the casket, not knowing what he should do. Let’s face it, being in your late 20’s and seeing your mother laid out, is kinda tough to have happen to you.

He finally came back and sat down, just staring at his mothers casket with the flowers surrounding her. Uncle Mike, why did she have to die? A tough question, and one that I pondered on for a little while. And said, “Joey, she had bad habits, unhealthy ones, that killed her. She was controlled by her bad habits.” I asked him if he agreed, and he said yes!

Are any of you controlled by your bad habits, like smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, over eating, porn? Do your habits hurt your children, your parents, your spouse, or even your friends or co-workers? How many of you want to get help but are afraid that working on your bad habits will be to hard for you?

I saw what my parents alcoholism and smoking did to our family. I saw what they did to my sister, Deb. My sister Deb, started drinking when she was 12 years old. She would sneak a beer, then mom’s wine, then the hard stuff. My mom and dad would pass out on their bed after hard drinking, and never had a clue what was going on in my sisters life. I tried telling my parents that Deb had a drinking problem, it never sunk in. Then she started stealing their cigarettes, she would smoke at school when she hung around her friends, my parents did nothing!

She had no control over her actions, she had several DUI’s, even had her drivers license revoked for the rest of her life. My dad and mom, allowed her to continue on her destructive ways, without confronting her. I sure tried, I begged her to stop her smoking, and drinking, and she laughed at me. She had the reputation as the party girl at our high school. The teachers could not believe we were related, we were total opposites. I talked to my high school guidance counselors back then about her problems, they could do nothing.

So, lets look at what you can do to help a loved one who has no control over bad habits or self control. Don’t harp on them, this is a main complaint that I hear in my office. Listen to them, suggest where they can get help if they ask you, and if you can talk with them about their needs, all the better. Arguing only makes matters worse. Think about it, do you think you will win someone over to your way of thinking by pointing out their faults with the bad habits they have? There is no way! The best way to get anywhere is to talk about their feelings, listen, don’t try to fix anything. Hear where their struggles are. Ask if its OK to share your thoughts on the matter. If you feel like you’re getting upset, then stop. Try to get more details from them and keep listening. Tell them you appreciate their honesty and try to plan to have another talk, soon!

Then start doing your research, not to bolster your argument, but, to help them see there are other ways to deal with their bad habits. You’re providing the resources they need to get answers for figuring things out. I also suggest that you go and look up the resources they need and print them out and hand them the material. Discovery is an amazing thing, if we allow people to do that on their own time. Most likely they will read what you give them, but in their own time. Remember that!

If your the person who needs to identify the areas where you have lost control and are dealing with a bad habit, then write them down, your list may have one or it may have several items on it. For example, you have a fear of dogs. Write down why your afraid of dogs. Did you get bitten by a dog when you were a child? Does a barking dog bother you? My point is make sure you completely cover all the reasons you don’t like dogs. Remember, this list is an open list of losing control to your fears and emotions. So, you can substitute any fear you may have on this list. Remember you want to regain control over the bad habits and fears by identifying what they are. On my list, it would be flying. I am so afraid of flying, it controls me, I have no control over it. It started when I saw a plane crash that killed seven people as a kid. That is etched in my mind forever. The sound of the racing engine just before impact, the explosion, the ball of fire, followed by the black smoke..who can forget!

When I started doing speaking engagements, I had to fly and was terrified at the thought of it! Believe me, I was tempted to drive the 1,100 hundred miles, a 21 hour drive for a 2 hour talk. That was out of the question. I faced my fears, and did my research. I went to google and looked up the stats for airplane crashes and the percentages of it happening and surviving. I have to admit that helped a great deal. My next step was to sit down and go over the advantages of flying. Well, that was a no brainer, it was a little over a 3 hour flight. I would get to meet new people at the airport and on the plane. Less chance of getting into a car accident on the road if I flew, and planes were safer to travel. That was my way of dealing with flying. I travel all the time now doing motivational talks and enjoying the flying. If you follow this formula, it will work. Its worked for me, it’s basic for sure.

If that doesn’t work for you, then talking to a professional will help you. I like to ask my clients a basic set of questions, the who, what, where and why, of their fears or bad habits and when they started? We will talk about each reason they are controlled by their fears and bad habits. Many never face them because they don’t know how or have the tools to do so.

I had one woman who had a bad habit of over eating. She was well over 320 pounds and only 24 years old. I asked her “Beth, why do you feel you’re over weight?” She, responded by saying, “my parents have always fed us too much, When we cried..they put food into our mouths, to keep us quiet.” She went on to say, when she gets nervous, she eats. When she gets depressed, she eats. When she doesn’t feel well, she eats. She eats to keep people away from her in general. She wants to avoid being in a relationship, so no one can hurt her. How destructive is this pattern she is living in?

Life coaching helped her a great deal. She is now 26 years old at 150 pounds, and loving herself and life. What did I do to help her? We simply talked about the consequences of over eating and the health related concerns that went along with them. Many obese and overweight people, really have no clue what being overweight does to you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

The first problem Beth and I talked about being overweight, was the health concerns I had. I asked her, do you know what can happen to you physically if you continue to maintain or gain weight? She said, sure..”I can die from a heart attack!” That’s a possibility and there are other concerns you should have, I said. I ask you, as my readers, do you know what can happen to you or a loved one, if you’re obese or over weight? Heart attack, High Blood Pressure, stroke, Type 2 Diabetes, Cancer, Osteoarthritis, Sleep Apnea, Reproductive Problems, Gallstones, shortness of breath, etc. She saw that as a problem, when presented from a health professional. Her primary doc never brought up her obesity. Amazing!

What does being over weight do to you emotionally? When things get tough, maybe at the office, at school, or even home..you walk over the fridge and start looking for the ice cream in the freezer, cause you just don’t want to deal with the emotional pain any longer. Its taking the easy way out. You don’t confront your emotional issues, you simply eat them away. So, when things get tough emotionally for you, you run to the comfort food. The best way to deal with this, is to sit down, and write down the emotional trigger points for you, and start a plan. NOT to go eat away your sorrows, but to face and deal with them. Deal with them “on the spot” and recognize that you do have control over what goes into your mouth. Don’t give in to your emotions!

What does being over weight do to you spiritually? I like to think, that God gave us these vessels we live in, while we’re here on earth. Maybe look at it from the perspective of someone giving you a house, you live in it, you have to take care of it. You have to make sure the furnace is working, the hot and cold water is working. You want the doors and windows to be in good shape, and for good measure you may want to have some nice painted walls to look at. If your taking care of yourself, I believe that God honors that. We need to be healthy and wholesome for ourselves, and others in our lives.

So, how does Life Coaching help you with breaking bad habits and taking back control of your life? What I do as a life coach, is to help you discover that you have the ability to say yes and no. If someone offers you a drink, and you know its gonna cause you some problems, then say, no thanks! Then leave the area. If someone offers you a joint, say no thanks and leave. You really do have control of what you say and do. For some of you, who have bought into the lie, “he made me do it”, then you need to keep away from those who are bad influences in your life and get help in learning how to say no and focus on building your future! I can do that for you. If you need help, call me and we can set up an appointment and talk.

Do you have a difficult time in controlling your bad habits? Have you lost friendships over bad habits? Do you want to restore any of those friendships? Do you hurt others with your bad habits and want to stop them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you plan on how to control these bad habits that have affected your life. I will help you put a working plan together that helps you control bad habits.

You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at <!– m –>http://www.applicablecoaching.com/blog.php<!– m –>

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Dr. Michael Brooks
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Applicable Solutions Life Coaching Services is led by founder Michael Brooks N.D., Ph.D., Board Certified BCBC Counselor, LCI Certification and AACC Master Life Coach Certification. Mike utilizes his coaching skills of 25 years in the areas of Personal and Marriage Relationships.

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What are the effects of bad eating habits ?
I have the cooper T as my birth control n now when i have sex it hurts alot n it smells bad what should i do ?
Im 37 and have been taking birth control for the past 4 years continually- meaning I skip the last week when you’re supposed to have a period-and start a new pack. No period=no PMS. Is this bad?

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bad habits, smoking, over eating, sex, porn, painful death, life coaching, need to be healthy, controlling your bad habits, breaking bad habits

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Applicable Solutions Life Coaching Services is led by founder Michael Brooks N.D., Ph.D., Board Certified BCBC Counselor, LCI Certification and AACC Master Life Coach Certification. Mike utilizes his coaching skills of 25 years in the areas of Personal and Marriage Relationships.

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May 1, 2011

Kick All your Bad Habits to Stay Smoke Free

Kick All your Bad Habits to Stay Smoke Free

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Home Page > Health > Kick All your Bad Habits to Stay Smoke Free

Kick All your Bad Habits to Stay Smoke Free

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Posted: Nov 13, 2007 |Comments: 0
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Bad habits are very hard to give up and one bad habit often leads to another bad habit. Cigarette smoking is one of the hardest addictions to give up and there are many reasons why. One of the reasons is lifestyle, our partying habit which includes smoking and drinking alcohol. When there is a get together or a party, rich oily food is usually served as these foods go well with alcohol and when we drink alcohol we feel like smoking and tend to smoke more than usual.

So, if we are in a habit of drinking it means smoking cessation is a far cry. Every time we drink we feel like smoking because alcohol enhances the taste of cigarette. Many smokers want to quit smoking but since there is little change in their lifestyle, the quitting they so ardently talk about is only done in words. Continuing to party and boozing all night is not much of a help if you are thinking about kicking the butt from your life.

Just as one bad habit leads to another, the same goes if we reverse things and choose a better way of life. Therefore, to stay away from smoking you need to change your lifestyle quit smoking and partying. You might think you have the strongest willpower but as you have already tasted the charm of smoking and the addictive properties of nicotine, it will be no wonder if your quitting lasts only for few days.

Depression, anxiety, restlessness, insomnia, disheveled mind, mood swings etc are felt which is known as the withdrawal syndrome and it becomes very intense when the level of nicotine falls in the body of a smoker. So, when a person quits smoking, the craving to smoke becomes so great especially after drinking alcohol that they end up lighting again. This process might be repeated hundred times and every time the quitter believes it to be his/her last cigarette but fail to live up to his belief.

If you seriously are thinking about quitting but are afraid of the withdrawal symptoms or succumbing to the cravings then do not worry as Pfizer Chantix has been made especially to help out such people. The medicine is FDA approved for the treatment of smoking cessation in adults. The specialty of Chantix is that it not only helps in quitting cigarette smoking but is also found to have control over the urge for drinking alcohol. Though it is not yet tested in humans, the test done in rats are found to be very positive. As you need to wipe out all the bad habits in your life, you can buy Chantix as it will prove to be an immense help with its two in one curative property.

Since Chantix is Varenicline it doesn’t contain any nicotinic properties and hence is not harmful and addictive. It also greatly diminishes the taste of cigarettes and so a smoker doesn’t get the same pleasure of smoking like before. Further, the craving becomes lesser with chantix thus; the withdrawal syndrome is minimal and can be tolerated with ease.

Chantix is an oral medicine which should be taken twice daily for a period of 12 weeks but see your doctor before you order chantix for consumption. Like all allopathic medicines chantix also has some mild side-effects which should not be of much concern. Keep in mind that chantix is a prescribed drug which can be bought only after getting a prescription from a qualified doctor. Prescription is important for the right chantix dosage and doctor needs to be consulted to see whether chantix is the right smoking cessation medicine for you. Lastly, you can buy chantix online but it will be wise to check the authenticity of the websites.

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The author is a health expert and writes articles on various issues related to the causes as well as consequences of smoking and also on the quit smoking medicine
chantix. For more information, details and advice on smoking related matters, visit the website chantixhome.com

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April 17, 2011

Smoking Cigarette Habits are Prone to Relapses Just Like Alcoholism

Smoking Cigarette Habits are Prone to Relapses Just Like Alcoholism

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Home Page > Health > Quit Smoking > Smoking Cigarette Habits are Prone to Relapses Just Like Alcoholism

Smoking Cigarette Habits are Prone to Relapses Just Like Alcoholism

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Posted: May 01, 2008 |Comments: 0
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As it appears, alcoholism and smoking cigarette are the most commonly adopted habits in the category of drug abuse and alcoholism. Almost every young man and woman is a regular smoker, drinker or both as opposed to other hard drugs like bhang, cocaine, heroin, madrax that are exploited by some isolated cases. But then the big question is whether one can completely heal from this obsession without experiencing relapses. The big similarity between the two cases is that there is recurring urge to smoke or drink to feel relaxed and therefore very addicting habits. With an alcoholic, there are a number of health hazards attached to it as shown below:

There is high risk of breast cancer ranging from 88 per 1000 non-drinking women to 133 per 1000 drinking six drinks ‘bottles of wine a day. It could also cause depression and liver cirrhosis that increased by 74 per cent between 1990 and 2000. At least five to seven cases per cent of diagnosed cases of hypertension are due to heavy drinking. It’s widely believed that drinking alcohol particularly wine is beneficial for the health. However according to alcohol anonymous, the only thing known for sure is that about one unit a day can have a cardio-protective effect on men over 40 and post menopausal women.

However if you are a heavy drinker there is hope for you out there but top most you must accept that you got a problem and the need to solve it. Approach any alcohol anonymous groups all over the world, with centers that fight tooth and nail to eliminate this addiction effect on potential people.

The sessions are many and one may even need to be admitted for duration of time prescribed by doctors. The counseling sessions are also pivotal at this point and the victim is supposed to be encouraged to stop the habit of drinking, smoking cigarette or both by all who cares but not ridiculed. It’s important for one to make sure that he avoids the chances of having a drink in his house, place of work or wherever they are to avoid the relapses.

Smoking cigarettes just like alcoholism is a grave addiction that is hard to put to an end. There is a pushy feeling in a smokers mind to take a puff every time there is tension in their mind and need to obey the voices that smoking will relieve one of his or her stress. Even when the doctor warns someone not to smoke so as not to aggravate the cancer problem in one or both of his lungs, one can’t help it not to smoke. How about that tuberculosis only worsened by the cigarette smoke or even that throat cancer that contracts it until you can’t feed especially on solid foods?

To stop smoking cigarette crisis, one has to be very determined and be informed about the dangers of smoking. Then seek therapies from drug abuse sections where he or she can access the information concerning this and make use of it. Discipline just like in alcoholism is a fundamental issue, because if not one may have some relapses after retreating for some time that will amount to nothing at the end of it.

This is an original article written by Esteri Maina on SMOKING CIGARETTES. Esteri Maina is an author with a great gift and full of inspiration.

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