Smoking And Drinking

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How to resist the urge to smoke

By: heena
Posted: Jun 12, 2009
Views: 197

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When you decide to stop smoking the most difficult part is to resist the urges. It doesn’t matter that each craving lasts only 3-5 minutes. It is still the whole 5 minutes to battle with your willpower! These 7 tips will help you to resist the urge to smoke one urge at a time.
1. Remind Yourself Why You Quit

Every time you experience a craving, remind yourself why you quit. It is the excellent idea to take a blank index card and list all the reasons why you decided to quit smoking. List as many as you can, the more the better. If necessary, take the second index card. Carry them with you all the time. Every time you feel the urge to smoke, take the index card and slowly read all your reasons why you decided to stop. After you finish reading, your urge will pass! (If not, read them one more time or come up with more reasons.)

2. Reward Yourself.

Make it a habit to reward yourself at the end of each nonsmoking week. Think of something you want (it doesn’t
have to be something expensive, a nice homemade meal or hot bath will work). Take the index card and write down
what would you give yourself at the end of the week. When the urge comes look at the index card with
your reward. Isn’t it worth coping for 3 minutes? :

3. Be prepared for your urges!

Get yourself prepared for the urge to smoke in advance. In most cases, something triggers the craving (certain
feelings, people, or places). You have to know what triggers the urge.

Let us do a really quick exercise. Take a blank piece of paper and divide it into 2 columns. On the one side list your
triggers (like “stuck in traffic”, “drinking morning coffee”, “arguing with colleague”, and in the second column write
down the alternative course of action.

For example, instead of smoking while drinking your morning coffee you could read a newspaper. Instead of smoking after the hot argument with your colleague you can take a walk around a block or write down everything you think
about this person, then tier this piece of paper in shreds and throw it away. Do not be lazy, write it down! This
exercise really works!

4. Call your friend.

This method works great. Call someone who can support you, who can talk with you for a couple of minutes. You can call your nonsmoking friend, or someone who is trying to quit smoking too.

5. Distract yourself with a quick task.

Think of a small task you have to do, something what would take you 5-10 minutes. Make a call, send a fax, and make yourself a cup of coffee, water the plant in your office. Anything! Your task is to distract yourself until the urge will
pass. (Hint: Try to find activity that makes smoking impossible!)

6. Drink a Glass of Water.

Take a glass of water and drink it with a straw. First having something in your mouth to chew on will help,
second it will take you a couple of minutes to drink the whole glass and the urge will pass. Plus, do not forget that you are supposed to drink 8 glasses of water every day!

7. Power Tip.

That is the disgusting one, but it often works. Print a small picture of smoker’s lungs (you can find one here:
http://www.quitsmokingsupport.com/lungphotos.html ) and put it somewhere in your wallet. I know the view is not
pretty, but something like this can stop you dead on your track from lighting up. Look! Really! THIS could be
your lungs! You love yourself, and you respect your body. Why harm yourself?

heena – About the Author:

For more useful tips & hints, please browse for more information at our website :- http://www.adsence-dollar-factory.com
http://www.100earningtips.com

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A Barrier to Your Personal Success?

As an adult have you personally steered kids away from certain groups, specific locations, particular T.V. shows, inappropriate magazines, and music or have you seen this done, all in order to control negative influences and barriers to their personal success?

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May 25, 2011

How to resist the urge to smoke

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How to resist the urge to smoke

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How to resist the urge to smoke

By: heena
Posted: Jun 12, 2009
Views: 195

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When you decide to stop smoking the most difficult part is to resist the urges. It doesn’t matter that each craving lasts only 3-5 minutes. It is still the whole 5 minutes to battle with your willpower! These 7 tips will help you to resist the urge to smoke one urge at a time.
1. Remind Yourself Why You Quit

Every time you experience a craving, remind yourself why you quit. It is the excellent idea to take a blank index card and list all the reasons why you decided to quit smoking. List as many as you can, the more the better. If necessary, take the second index card. Carry them with you all the time. Every time you feel the urge to smoke, take the index card and slowly read all your reasons why you decided to stop. After you finish reading, your urge will pass! (If not, read them one more time or come up with more reasons.)

2. Reward Yourself.

Make it a habit to reward yourself at the end of each nonsmoking week. Think of something you want (it doesn’t
have to be something expensive, a nice homemade meal or hot bath will work). Take the index card and write down
what would you give yourself at the end of the week. When the urge comes look at the index card with
your reward. Isn’t it worth coping for 3 minutes? :

3. Be prepared for your urges!

Get yourself prepared for the urge to smoke in advance. In most cases, something triggers the craving (certain
feelings, people, or places). You have to know what triggers the urge.

Let us do a really quick exercise. Take a blank piece of paper and divide it into 2 columns. On the one side list your
triggers (like “stuck in traffic”, “drinking morning coffee”, “arguing with colleague”, and in the second column write
down the alternative course of action.

For example, instead of smoking while drinking your morning coffee you could read a newspaper. Instead of smoking after the hot argument with your colleague you can take a walk around a block or write down everything you think
about this person, then tier this piece of paper in shreds and throw it away. Do not be lazy, write it down! This
exercise really works!

4. Call your friend.

This method works great. Call someone who can support you, who can talk with you for a couple of minutes. You can call your nonsmoking friend, or someone who is trying to quit smoking too.

5. Distract yourself with a quick task.

Think of a small task you have to do, something what would take you 5-10 minutes. Make a call, send a fax, and make yourself a cup of coffee, water the plant in your office. Anything! Your task is to distract yourself until the urge will
pass. (Hint: Try to find activity that makes smoking impossible!)

6. Drink a Glass of Water.

Take a glass of water and drink it with a straw. First having something in your mouth to chew on will help,
second it will take you a couple of minutes to drink the whole glass and the urge will pass. Plus, do not forget that you are supposed to drink 8 glasses of water every day!

7. Power Tip.

That is the disgusting one, but it often works. Print a small picture of smoker’s lungs (you can find one here:
http://www.quitsmokingsupport.com/lungphotos.html ) and put it somewhere in your wallet. I know the view is not
pretty, but something like this can stop you dead on your track from lighting up. Look! Really! THIS could be
your lungs! You love yourself, and you respect your body. Why harm yourself?

heena – About the Author:

For more useful tips & hints, please browse for more information at our website :- http://www.adsence-dollar-factory.com
http://www.100earningtips.com

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The first time I decided to write an article for an ezine I was quite excited. I had written technical articles earlier for print media therefore I thought this would be an easy task.

But I was in for a surprise. Although I knew what I wanted to write I just could not complete my article even after working on it for two full days. Several times I started writing and then scratched what I had written.

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Write the article

I’ve had her ghostwrite articles for me on several topics, including my drywall business in the real world when I needed a press release. She did all her own research and even wrote in a style that my customers and contractors could identify with. I ended up paying her 0 for the piece, and I keep coming back to her with more projects. Heck, she could be writing this article! You’ll never know!

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By: heena

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A Barrier to Your Personal Success?

As an adult have you personally steered kids away from certain groups, specific locations, particular T.V. shows, inappropriate magazines, and music or have you seen this done, all in order to control negative influences and barriers to their personal success?

Why did you do it or why was it done?

By: heena

Self Improvement
Oct 14, 2009

Comments on this article [0]
Add new Comment

Related Videos

How to Curb the Ex-Smoker Munchies

How to Make a Ninja Costume & Snap a Neck

Smoking Quitting Statistics

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May 17, 2011

Bad Habits That Control Us!

by StefDymek

Bad Habits That Control Us!

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Bad Habits That Control Us!

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Bad habits that control us

By Dr. Michael Brooks
The smell of flowers can be a wonderful memory or a very painful experience to some of us. I remember standing before my sisters casket several months ago, smelling her flowers that lined the back wall of the funeral home. They were beautiful, and in full bloom. I had her son on my right, with my arm around his shoulder, and my daughter Alissa to my left with my arm around her. I stared at my sisters face, trying to imagine her sleeping, I just couldn’t do it, it wasn’t working for me. The music in the background, was music she would have hated. She was a ZZ top, deadhead, rock and roll chick. I was hearing harps, old organ hymns playing over the intercom, while hearing whispers of people behind me. It was starting getting dark, the doors opened around 4:00 PM that late cloudy November afternoon.

I stood there what seemed for hours, but really several minutes passed by. So much raced through my mind, why did she have to die so young? I had plenty of answers, I knew the reasons, but did she? I thought, how can someone knowingly continue to poison their body after watching both their parents pass away from the painful death, from smoking and drinking?

I used to beg my mom and dad to quit smoking, both were two pack a day smokers. My sister Deb was 2 packs a day, yet she never stopped or wanted to. She was being controlled by her smokes, a deadly bad habit. I also asked her to reconsider her smoking habits. I told her that we wanted her around to grow old with and enjoy times together. I kept staring at her face and listening to the music she probably would have made fun of. I turned and walked away back to the row chairs where the rest of the family was and sat down.

Her son Joey, who didn’t have a very good relationship with her, stood there another 5 minutes. I watched him as he stood in front of the casket, not knowing what he should do. Let’s face it, being in your late 20’s and seeing your mother laid out, is kinda tough to have happen to you.

He finally came back and sat down, just staring at his mothers casket with the flowers surrounding her. Uncle Mike, why did she have to die? A tough question, and one that I pondered on for a little while. And said, “Joey, she had bad habits, unhealthy ones, that killed her. She was controlled by her bad habits.” I asked him if he agreed, and he said yes!

Are any of you controlled by your bad habits, like smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, over eating, porn? Do your habits hurt your children, your parents, your spouse, or even your friends or co-workers? How many of you want to get help but are afraid that working on your bad habits will be to hard for you?

I saw what my parents alcoholism and smoking did to our family. I saw what they did to my sister, Deb. My sister Deb, started drinking when she was 12 years old. She would sneak a beer, then mom’s wine, then the hard stuff. My mom and dad would pass out on their bed after hard drinking, and never had a clue what was going on in my sisters life. I tried telling my parents that Deb had a drinking problem, it never sunk in. Then she started stealing their cigarettes, she would smoke at school when she hung around her friends, my parents did nothing!

She had no control over her actions, she had several DUI’s, even had her drivers license revoked for the rest of her life. My dad and mom, allowed her to continue on her destructive ways, without confronting her. I sure tried, I begged her to stop her smoking, and drinking, and she laughed at me. She had the reputation as the party girl at our high school. The teachers could not believe we were related, we were total opposites. I talked to my high school guidance counselors back then about her problems, they could do nothing.

So, lets look at what you can do to help a loved one who has no control over bad habits or self control. Don’t harp on them, this is a main complaint that I hear in my office. Listen to them, suggest where they can get help if they ask you, and if you can talk with them about their needs, all the better. Arguing only makes matters worse. Think about it, do you think you will win someone over to your way of thinking by pointing out their faults with the bad habits they have? There is no way! The best way to get anywhere is to talk about their feelings, listen, don’t try to fix anything. Hear where their struggles are. Ask if its OK to share your thoughts on the matter. If you feel like you’re getting upset, then stop. Try to get more details from them and keep listening. Tell them you appreciate their honesty and try to plan to have another talk, soon!

Then start doing your research, not to bolster your argument, but, to help them see there are other ways to deal with their bad habits. You’re providing the resources they need to get answers for figuring things out. I also suggest that you go and look up the resources they need and print them out and hand them the material. Discovery is an amazing thing, if we allow people to do that on their own time. Most likely they will read what you give them, but in their own time. Remember that!

If your the person who needs to identify the areas where you have lost control and are dealing with a bad habit, then write them down, your list may have one or it may have several items on it. For example, you have a fear of dogs. Write down why your afraid of dogs. Did you get bitten by a dog when you were a child? Does a barking dog bother you? My point is make sure you completely cover all the reasons you don’t like dogs. Remember, this list is an open list of losing control to your fears and emotions. So, you can substitute any fear you may have on this list. Remember you want to regain control over the bad habits and fears by identifying what they are. On my list, it would be flying. I am so afraid of flying, it controls me, I have no control over it. It started when I saw a plane crash that killed seven people as a kid. That is etched in my mind forever. The sound of the racing engine just before impact, the explosion, the ball of fire, followed by the black smoke..who can forget!

When I started doing speaking engagements, I had to fly and was terrified at the thought of it! Believe me, I was tempted to drive the 1,100 hundred miles, a 21 hour drive for a 2 hour talk. That was out of the question. I faced my fears, and did my research. I went to google and looked up the stats for airplane crashes and the percentages of it happening and surviving. I have to admit that helped a great deal. My next step was to sit down and go over the advantages of flying. Well, that was a no brainer, it was a little over a 3 hour flight. I would get to meet new people at the airport and on the plane. Less chance of getting into a car accident on the road if I flew, and planes were safer to travel. That was my way of dealing with flying. I travel all the time now doing motivational talks and enjoying the flying. If you follow this formula, it will work. Its worked for me, it’s basic for sure.

If that doesn’t work for you, then talking to a professional will help you. I like to ask my clients a basic set of questions, the who, what, where and why, of their fears or bad habits and when they started? We will talk about each reason they are controlled by their fears and bad habits. Many never face them because they don’t know how or have the tools to do so.

I had one woman who had a bad habit of over eating. She was well over 320 pounds and only 24 years old. I asked her “Beth, why do you feel you’re over weight?” She, responded by saying, “my parents have always fed us too much, When we cried..they put food into our mouths, to keep us quiet.” She went on to say, when she gets nervous, she eats. When she gets depressed, she eats. When she doesn’t feel well, she eats. She eats to keep people away from her in general. She wants to avoid being in a relationship, so no one can hurt her. How destructive is this pattern she is living in?

Life coaching helped her a great deal. She is now 26 years old at 150 pounds, and loving herself and life. What did I do to help her? We simply talked about the consequences of over eating and the health related concerns that went along with them. Many obese and overweight people, really have no clue what being overweight does to you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

The first problem Beth and I talked about being overweight, was the health concerns I had. I asked her, do you know what can happen to you physically if you continue to maintain or gain weight? She said, sure..”I can die from a heart attack!” That’s a possibility and there are other concerns you should have, I said. I ask you, as my readers, do you know what can happen to you or a loved one, if you’re obese or over weight? Heart attack, High Blood Pressure, stroke, Type 2 Diabetes, Cancer, Osteoarthritis, Sleep Apnea, Reproductive Problems, Gallstones, shortness of breath, etc. She saw that as a problem, when presented from a health professional. Her primary doc never brought up her obesity. Amazing!

What does being over weight do to you emotionally? When things get tough, maybe at the office, at school, or even home..you walk over the fridge and start looking for the ice cream in the freezer, cause you just don’t want to deal with the emotional pain any longer. Its taking the easy way out. You don’t confront your emotional issues, you simply eat them away. So, when things get tough emotionally for you, you run to the comfort food. The best way to deal with this, is to sit down, and write down the emotional trigger points for you, and start a plan. NOT to go eat away your sorrows, but to face and deal with them. Deal with them “on the spot” and recognize that you do have control over what goes into your mouth. Don’t give in to your emotions!

What does being over weight do to you spiritually? I like to think, that God gave us these vessels we live in, while we’re here on earth. Maybe look at it from the perspective of someone giving you a house, you live in it, you have to take care of it. You have to make sure the furnace is working, the hot and cold water is working. You want the doors and windows to be in good shape, and for good measure you may want to have some nice painted walls to look at. If your taking care of yourself, I believe that God honors that. We need to be healthy and wholesome for ourselves, and others in our lives.

So, how does Life Coaching help you with breaking bad habits and taking back control of your life? What I do as a life coach, is to help you discover that you have the ability to say yes and no. If someone offers you a drink, and you know its gonna cause you some problems, then say, no thanks! Then leave the area. If someone offers you a joint, say no thanks and leave. You really do have control of what you say and do. For some of you, who have bought into the lie, “he made me do it”, then you need to keep away from those who are bad influences in your life and get help in learning how to say no and focus on building your future! I can do that for you. If you need help, call me and we can set up an appointment and talk.

Do you have a difficult time in controlling your bad habits? Have you lost friendships over bad habits? Do you want to restore any of those friendships? Do you hurt others with your bad habits and want to stop them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you plan on how to control these bad habits that have affected your life. I will help you put a working plan together that helps you control bad habits.

You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at <!– m –>http://www.applicablecoaching.com/blog.php<!– m –>

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Applicable Solutions Life Coaching Services is led by founder Michael Brooks N.D., Ph.D., Board Certified BCBC Counselor, LCI Certification and AACC Master Life Coach Certification. Mike utilizes his coaching skills of 25 years in the areas of Personal and Marriage Relationships.

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What are the effects of bad eating habits ?
I have the cooper T as my birth control n now when i have sex it hurts alot n it smells bad what should i do ?
Im 37 and have been taking birth control for the past 4 years continually- meaning I skip the last week when you’re supposed to have a period-and start a new pack. No period=no PMS. Is this bad?

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Bad Habits That Can be Good

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Applicable Solutions Life Coaching Services is led by founder Michael Brooks N.D., Ph.D., Board Certified BCBC Counselor, LCI Certification and AACC Master Life Coach Certification. Mike utilizes his coaching skills of 25 years in the areas of Personal and Marriage Relationships.

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Tips For Younger Looking Skin for all and every one

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Tips For Younger Looking Skin for all and every one

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Tips For Younger Looking Skin for all and every one

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Before starting my article I will like to say a few words about health.

“Every human being is the author of his own health or disease.”
“He, who has health, has hope. And he, who has hope, has everything.”
“It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.”

Smoking and drinking alcohol are bad for the skin. Cigarette smoke contains more than 4000 toxins, many of which are absorbed directly into the bloodstream and are transported by the blood directly into the structure of your skin. Smoking cigarettes causes the constriction or narrowing of the blood vessels at the top layers of the skin which in turn reduces blood supply to the skin. This in turn reduces the skin regeneration efficiency. The reduction of blood supply reduces the availability of oxygen to all living cells as well as slowing down the removal of waste products, dead cell fragments. Hence, the environment for regeneration has been retarded. With the blood vessels constriction and oxygen reduction, the blood is thickened and this reduces the levels of collagen in the skin. As a result, what you get is early formation lines and wrinkles, as well as an atrophic, slightly pigmented grey appearance of the skin.

Smoking also destroys vitamin C in our bodies, age the skin prematurely and form deep wrinkles. Drinking alcohol expands our blood vessels and can cause red spots and itchiness. Cigarette smoke exposes one to free radicals which damage the microcapillaries in the skin and accelerate the aging process. So, if you want to slow down the aging process, refrain from smoking and drinking alcohol.

Smoking and drinking alcohol are bad for the skin. Cigarette smoke contains more than 4000 toxins, many of which are absorbed directly into the bloodstream and are transported by the blood directly into the structure of your skin. Smoking cigarettes causes the constriction or narrowing of the blood vessels at the top layers of the skin which in turn reduces blood supply to the skin. This in turn reduces the skin regeneration efficiency. The reduction of blood supply reduces the availability of oxygen to all living cells as well as slowing down the removal of waste products, dead cell fragments. Hence, the environment for regeneration has been retarded. With the blood vessels constriction and oxygen reduction, the blood is thickened and this reduces the levels of collagen in the skin. As a result, what you get is early formation lines and wrinkles, as well as an atrophic, slightly pigmented grey appearance of the skin.

Smoking also destroys vitamin C in our bodies, age the skin prematurely and form deep wrinkles. Drinking alcohol expands our blood vessels and can cause red spots and itchiness. Cigarette smoke exposes one to free radicals which damage the microcapillaries in the skin and accelerate the aging process. So, if you want to slow down the aging process, refrain from smoking and drinking alcohol.

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For more information about health and fitness, body fitness guide, health tips, baby care tips, parenting tips, health exercises, workouts, men’s health, women’s health and teen health, please visit www.pkdoctor.com

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I have oily skin. please tell me some natural tips to fair my skin
I m a boy of 20 yr old, i hav skin problem on my shoulder it seems like sunburns but it is in black colour. its not itchy or paining but it spoils my look. how to remove this pls help me
Does black hair look good with pale skin?

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The Ripple Effect of Stopping Smoking:

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The Ripple Effect of Stopping Smoking:

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Home Page > Health > Quit Smoking > The Ripple Effect of Stopping Smoking:

The Ripple Effect of Stopping Smoking:

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Posted: Nov 21, 2007 |Comments: 0
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How Bad Habits Run in Packs

Does smoking encourage other addictive behaviors? Here’s the cold, hard truth: a large percentage of smokers engage in other unhealthy habits such as alcohol consumption, drinking too much coffee, overeating, and even gambling.

How many smokers do you know who absolutely must have a cup of java with their morning cigarette? What about that cloud of smoke hanging over the lounge or bar?

Think for a moment about your daily routine and the things you do while smoking. Do you have any other addictive or compulsive habits that seem to go hand in hand?

If you answered yes, don’t fret. By taking the first step towards stopping smoking, you’ll find it easier to eliminate other harmful habits.

One Addiction At A Time

The secret to success is to tackle your first goal of quitting smoking before attempting to work on any other addictive habits.

You’ll also want to avoid adopting any new bad habits or behaviors during the first few weeks you wage battle against nicotine. Many people find themselves unintentionally substituting food as a replacement for cigarettes as they try to quit smoking.

To make matters worse, the types of food or drink they usually crave the most are high calorie sweets and snack foods or sugary soft drinks. Unfortunately the end result is often a noticeable amount of weight gain within a few months. While they may have succeeded in quitting smoking, they now have to deal with excess weight and all the related health problems.

Beat The Physical And Psychological Addiction So You Can Stop Smoking

In order to quit smoking, you need to know what causes or contributes to your addictive behaviors. When smokers talk about their inability to stop smoking, they’ll often mention an overpowering nicotine craving.

Although there’s no doubt that smoking causes a physical addiction in the body, smokers experience a psychological dependence too. This mental dependence can be just as challenging to overcome.

Consider the following scenario:

A man who has smoked for twenty years finally decides to quit smoking. He experiences a great deal of frustration and anxiety for the first three weeks as he tries to stop smoking. But gradually, he succeeds in kicking his smoking addiction.

However, several months after this success he learns that his company is downsizing and he is under great pressure to complete additional new tasks while his job is hanging in the balance. As the stress begins to get unbearable, his urge to smoke returns stronger than ever.

Although the nicotine is gone from his bloodstream, his mind still remembers the pleasant, relaxing feeling associated with smoking. He mentally links smoking with relief from stress. Those two things, stress and smoking, are wired together in his emotional fusebox. In order to cope with this new stress, he resorts to old behaviors.

Why Quitting Smoking is Harder For Some People

If you’ve compared notes with other smokers, you know that some of them simply decided to quit smoking and did it. Cold turkey. No regrets. Then there are those who struggle for years, stopping smoking only to resume again. And again.

Why do some people have so much trouble and stress when trying to stop smoking while others seem to sail through it? Many scientists and physicians believe this is strongly related to the individual’s mental well-being and mindset.

People who have trouble trying to stop smoking often have personal beliefs that are self defeating. A person may have every intention of stopping smoking but if they don’t have the correct, positive mindset the task may seem nearly impossible and backsliding inevitable.

Negative Beliefs Make It Harder to Quit Smoking

The following list contains some self defeating thoughts and behaviors that can hinder your goal of stopping smoking. These negative attitudes can make it increasingly difficult to break any type of bad habit or addiction, whether it’s smoking, gambling, drinking, or some other unwanted habit.

So whatever it is you’re trying to give up, try to give up these attitudes first:

1. Misplaced blame. How many times have you heard someone say: “I could stop smoking if I didn’t have to deal with my boss, children, spouse, etc” In order to quit smoking or break any type of negative habit, you first need to accept responsibility for your actions.

2. Inability to cope. Many smokers feel they can’t deal with the pain, stress, or frustration of everyday life. Smoking is a crutch that enables them to function properly. By accepting and dealing with your emotional turmoil, you’ll greatly increase your chances of stopping smoking.

3. Overwhelmed by addiction. Some people may feel that stopping smoking is completely out of their control. Their addiction is such an important part of their life that they feel quitting smoking is unattainable.

4. Denial. Before you can stop smoking, first recognize and acknowledge there is a problem. You’ve probably heard some people say they can quit smoking any time they want to. While this may be true for a few individuals, most often it’s not the case. If you have been smoking for a long time, your body has developed an addiction and you may need help to beat it.

Prescriptions Medication To Help You Stop Smoking

After you’ve developed a positive attitude about quitting smoking, the next step is to choose a method with a high success rate.

Today there are many new drugs on the market that make the physical discomfort of stopping smoking more tolerable. The most notable is a prescription product called Chantix.

Chantix helps you stop smoking by lessening the effects of nicotine on the body and reducing both the cravings and unpleasant withdrawal symptoms. Smokers should start taking Chantix a full week before they actually intend to quit smoking. This enables the amount of the active ingredient in Chantix to build up in your system, which will make stopping smoking less stressful and physically less uncomfortable.

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Questions and Answers

Ask our experts your Quit Smoking related questions here…

I want to quit smoking, but Im afraid that if I do Ill gain weight when I stop smoking. Do you have any suggestions?
What are side effects of quitting smoking ?
I am having surgery in Nov. I must stop smoking. If I use Smoke Relief..does it still put nicotine in my system?

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smoking cessation, quit smoking, stop smoking, cigarette cravings, anxiety, irritability, headaches, stomachaches, restlessness, drowsiness, zyban and chantix

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May 5, 2011

Is Smoking a Harmful Behavior for Men and Women

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Is Smoking a Harmful Behavior for Men and Women

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Is Smoking a Harmful Behavior for Men and Women

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Smoking cigarettes accounts for between 40% and 60% of the difference in men and women’s mortality right across Europe, new research reveals. Alcohol accounts for around 20% of the gender gap. The findings, published in the journal Tobacco Control, highlight the need for public health measures to tackle these harmful behaviors. Women have outlived men in some European countries since the middle of the 18th century, and since the late 1990s, there has been evidence that women in every country in the world can expect to live longer than their male compatriots.

The reasons for this difference have been hotly debated; some attribute the gender gap to biology, while others point to men’s (relative) unwillingness to seek out medical care when they need it. One area which has been largely neglected is the influence of health behaviors on the gender gap in death rates. In this study, scientists in the UK used World Health Organization (WHO) data on death rates in 30 European countries from the year 2005. They studied differences between the genders in deaths from all causes as well as deaths from smoking-related conditions and alcohol-related deaths.

The results revealed that although the death rates from all causes were higher for men than for women in all countries studied, the scale of the gender gap varied widely, from 188 (per 100,000 of the population per year) ‘excess’ deaths among men in Iceland to 942 in Ukraine. Generally speaking, the gender gap was higher in Eastern Europe; all countries with a gender gap over 400 per 100,000 were in this region.

The lowest gender gaps were found in Cyprus, Greece, Iceland, Sweden and the UK, which all recorded gaps of under 230 per 100,000. Smoking accounted for between 38% and 60% of the gender gap in all countries, with the exception of Malta, where smoking was behind 74% of the excess deaths. According to the researchers, variations in the proportion of excess deaths due to smoking tobacco can be attributed to gender differences in the uptake of smoking in different countries in earlier decades. Meanwhile alcohol-related deaths accounted for between 20% and 30% of the gender gap in Eastern Europe and between 10% and 20% elsewhere. However, in all 30 countries studied, the contribution of smoking to the gender gap in all-cause mortality was greater than that of alcohol.

The scientists point out that it should not come as a surprise that smoking and drinking are such significant drivers of the gender gap in life expectancy, as these behaviors ‘have long been a powerful way of portraying gendered identities’. Furthermore, the researchers note, ‘it has been suggested that cultural portrayals of drinking keep shifting to maintain a gendered distinction in drinking behaviors, so that as men and women both modify their drinking behaviors, considerable effort is devoted to constructing men’s drinking in different ways to women’s drinking.’

The fact that young smokers continue to take up smoking and engage in harmful patterns of alcohol consumption suggests that public health measures are urgently needed to tackle these behaviors. The fact that these behaviors appear to be linked to gender identities means that dealing with them will not be easy. ‘These behaviors are culturally bound and these cultural constructions of behaviors are partially shaped by and exploited by the alcohol and tobacco industries,’ the researchers warn. Looking to the future, the team predicts that the gender gap due to smoking will dwindle in the coming decades. They concluded that it may still be several decades before profound changes in gender differences in smoking in some of these countries are reflected in a smaller contribution of smoking-related deaths to a reduced gender gap in mortality.

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Kick All your Bad Habits to Stay Smoke Free

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Kick All your Bad Habits to Stay Smoke Free

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Kick All your Bad Habits to Stay Smoke Free

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Bad habits are very hard to give up and one bad habit often leads to another bad habit. Cigarette smoking is one of the hardest addictions to give up and there are many reasons why. One of the reasons is lifestyle, our partying habit which includes smoking and drinking alcohol. When there is a get together or a party, rich oily food is usually served as these foods go well with alcohol and when we drink alcohol we feel like smoking and tend to smoke more than usual.

So, if we are in a habit of drinking it means smoking cessation is a far cry. Every time we drink we feel like smoking because alcohol enhances the taste of cigarette. Many smokers want to quit smoking but since there is little change in their lifestyle, the quitting they so ardently talk about is only done in words. Continuing to party and boozing all night is not much of a help if you are thinking about kicking the butt from your life.

Just as one bad habit leads to another, the same goes if we reverse things and choose a better way of life. Therefore, to stay away from smoking you need to change your lifestyle quit smoking and partying. You might think you have the strongest willpower but as you have already tasted the charm of smoking and the addictive properties of nicotine, it will be no wonder if your quitting lasts only for few days.

Depression, anxiety, restlessness, insomnia, disheveled mind, mood swings etc are felt which is known as the withdrawal syndrome and it becomes very intense when the level of nicotine falls in the body of a smoker. So, when a person quits smoking, the craving to smoke becomes so great especially after drinking alcohol that they end up lighting again. This process might be repeated hundred times and every time the quitter believes it to be his/her last cigarette but fail to live up to his belief.

If you seriously are thinking about quitting but are afraid of the withdrawal symptoms or succumbing to the cravings then do not worry as Pfizer Chantix has been made especially to help out such people. The medicine is FDA approved for the treatment of smoking cessation in adults. The specialty of Chantix is that it not only helps in quitting cigarette smoking but is also found to have control over the urge for drinking alcohol. Though it is not yet tested in humans, the test done in rats are found to be very positive. As you need to wipe out all the bad habits in your life, you can buy Chantix as it will prove to be an immense help with its two in one curative property.

Since Chantix is Varenicline it doesn’t contain any nicotinic properties and hence is not harmful and addictive. It also greatly diminishes the taste of cigarettes and so a smoker doesn’t get the same pleasure of smoking like before. Further, the craving becomes lesser with chantix thus; the withdrawal syndrome is minimal and can be tolerated with ease.

Chantix is an oral medicine which should be taken twice daily for a period of 12 weeks but see your doctor before you order chantix for consumption. Like all allopathic medicines chantix also has some mild side-effects which should not be of much concern. Keep in mind that chantix is a prescribed drug which can be bought only after getting a prescription from a qualified doctor. Prescription is important for the right chantix dosage and doctor needs to be consulted to see whether chantix is the right smoking cessation medicine for you. Lastly, you can buy chantix online but it will be wise to check the authenticity of the websites.

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The author is a health expert and writes articles on various issues related to the causes as well as consequences of smoking and also on the quit smoking medicine
chantix. For more information, details and advice on smoking related matters, visit the website chantixhome.com

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The author is a health expert and writes articles on various issues related to the causes as well as consequences of smoking and also on the quit smoking medicine
chantix. For more information, details and advice on smoking related matters, visit the website chantixhome.com

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April 21, 2011

After Stop Smoking – How To Fill Your Time After You Have Stopped Smoking

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After Stop Smoking – How To Fill Your Time After You Have Stopped Smoking

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Home Page > Health > Quit Smoking > After Stop Smoking â How To Fill Your Time After You Have Stopped Smoking

After Stop Smoking â How To Fill Your Time After You Have Stopped Smoking

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For some, the hardest part about quitting smoking is that they have developed all these habits around smoking for so long and now they will have to give them up as well. For instance, many people simply live for the first cigarette in the morning with a cup a black coffee as they read the newspaper. Once that people quits smoking, this ritual is missing a primary component. If that person wakes up in the morning and brews a fresh pot of quality black coffee and reaches for the newspaper, of course he is going to miss the cigarette in a big, big way. Part of after stop smoking that is important if it is to stick is disassociating smoking with some of the other activities that you enjoy that you used to relate to smoking.

During the first stages after stop smoking, it might be a good idea to switch from coffee to tea. This will create a new ritual that won’t be associated in your mind with smoking cigarettes. Although tea might not back the punch you are looking for in the morning, it will help you to wean yourself off the connection between smoking and coffee. Eventually, when you have stopped smoking for long enough, which will be different for everyone, you can return to the coffee ritual and see how it feels. Stay hyper-aware of your desire to smoke a cigarette as you return to the original ritual for the first time. If all you can think about is smoking a cigarette, you are probably not ready to return to that.

Another thing people struggle with after stop smoking is drinking alcohol. A lot of people tend to smoke a lot when they drink. They say they enjoy smoking a lot more when they drink. In fact, there is a joke that goes: I’ve decided to only smoke when I drink to limit my smoking, but instead I just became an alcoholic.

The point is that these to actions are inseparably tied to each other for many people. That’s why, like coffee, it can be a really good idea to give up alcohol immediate after stop smoking. Eventually, you can reintroduce alcohol to your life if you think you won’t be tempted to smoke while you drink alcohol. Another tip for post-smoking is to begin a strict exercise regimen. This can not only keep your mind of smoking, but it can also help you to limit your smoking desire.

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Juan C Ruiz –
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The Ultimate Guide To Stop Smoking In 14 Days. http://stopsmokingformula.com

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If you’re a smoker and want to quit your habit, you can actually program your mind to do so. Smoking cessation hypnosis is one of the most effective techniques, which refers to the processes of using hypnosis to quit smoking. Read on for more information.

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The Ultimate Guide To Stop Smoking In 14 Days. http://stopsmokingformula.com

Dave Young feat 50 Cent – Smoking And Drinking

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April 17, 2011

Smoking Cigarette Habits are Prone to Relapses Just Like Alcoholism

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Smoking Cigarette Habits are Prone to Relapses Just Like Alcoholism

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Home Page > Health > Quit Smoking > Smoking Cigarette Habits are Prone to Relapses Just Like Alcoholism

Smoking Cigarette Habits are Prone to Relapses Just Like Alcoholism

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As it appears, alcoholism and smoking cigarette are the most commonly adopted habits in the category of drug abuse and alcoholism. Almost every young man and woman is a regular smoker, drinker or both as opposed to other hard drugs like bhang, cocaine, heroin, madrax that are exploited by some isolated cases. But then the big question is whether one can completely heal from this obsession without experiencing relapses. The big similarity between the two cases is that there is recurring urge to smoke or drink to feel relaxed and therefore very addicting habits. With an alcoholic, there are a number of health hazards attached to it as shown below:

There is high risk of breast cancer ranging from 88 per 1000 non-drinking women to 133 per 1000 drinking six drinks ‘bottles of wine a day. It could also cause depression and liver cirrhosis that increased by 74 per cent between 1990 and 2000. At least five to seven cases per cent of diagnosed cases of hypertension are due to heavy drinking. It’s widely believed that drinking alcohol particularly wine is beneficial for the health. However according to alcohol anonymous, the only thing known for sure is that about one unit a day can have a cardio-protective effect on men over 40 and post menopausal women.

However if you are a heavy drinker there is hope for you out there but top most you must accept that you got a problem and the need to solve it. Approach any alcohol anonymous groups all over the world, with centers that fight tooth and nail to eliminate this addiction effect on potential people.

The sessions are many and one may even need to be admitted for duration of time prescribed by doctors. The counseling sessions are also pivotal at this point and the victim is supposed to be encouraged to stop the habit of drinking, smoking cigarette or both by all who cares but not ridiculed. It’s important for one to make sure that he avoids the chances of having a drink in his house, place of work or wherever they are to avoid the relapses.

Smoking cigarettes just like alcoholism is a grave addiction that is hard to put to an end. There is a pushy feeling in a smokers mind to take a puff every time there is tension in their mind and need to obey the voices that smoking will relieve one of his or her stress. Even when the doctor warns someone not to smoke so as not to aggravate the cancer problem in one or both of his lungs, one can’t help it not to smoke. How about that tuberculosis only worsened by the cigarette smoke or even that throat cancer that contracts it until you can’t feed especially on solid foods?

To stop smoking cigarette crisis, one has to be very determined and be informed about the dangers of smoking. Then seek therapies from drug abuse sections where he or she can access the information concerning this and make use of it. Discipline just like in alcoholism is a fundamental issue, because if not one may have some relapses after retreating for some time that will amount to nothing at the end of it.

This is an original article written by Esteri Maina on SMOKING CIGARETTES. Esteri Maina is an author with a great gift and full of inspiration.

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March 19, 2011

John L. Pastore: A Struggle With Life

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John L. Pastore: A Struggle With Life

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John L. Pastore: A Struggle With Life

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Walking up to the doorstep of my father’s house with my mother, I felt terrified and sad; it took all of my courage to walk inside. Seeing my father literally laying on his death bed, looking so sickly. I tried to hold back my tears and be brave for him and my stepmother Cathy. He lay there, knowing his fate. It just blew my mind how positive he was. He had a picture of me by his bed, a picture of me that had been in the newspaper for winning an award. My father laid there telling me how incredibly proud he was of me. He talked to me and even gave me advice on men (I had just gotten out of my first real long-term relationship). He had said to me “Sara, do you know how he’s the one? When he’s the only one left.” I had no idea what that meant and still don’t, but I smiled and I listened, choking back my tears and trying to stay brave, for him.
A few weeks before all of this, he had been a healthy. A 5’10” Italian man, looking like he had just stepped off the set of the “Sopranos“. His voice was so extremely loud that even his whisper would hurt your ear drums. I can still to this day hear his loud boisterous voice in my head. He had olive skin, a big belly, and always wore turquoise colored jewelry. He cared so much for all four of his children: myself and my brother Curtis, our older half brother Matt, half sister Missy. I was always the closest with my father out of the four of us (even though my sister thinks she was), and also the youngest. My brothers, my sister and my mother would always tell me how I couldn’t understand what they had gone through. They thought that it was easier for me to be closer to him because I hadn’t experienced what they had. My oldest brother Matt, stopped talking to my father for approximately the last seven years of his life.
My father had a drinking problem before I was born. He went through two marriages while struggling with this problem. He struggled with his addiction and tried numerous times to get sober. He struggled through life, and did whatever he could to make a better life for himself after he got sober. He went through a lot to get sober, but finally accomplished it. Before he passed he had been sober for seventeen years.
So there I stood there looking at my father dying. A man who had such a rough life. He went from the very bottom and turned his life around. He was clean and sober. However, he had been a smoker most of his life, which greatly added to his death. I was so confused, mad, upset, furious, every single emotion ran through my body. Why? Why was this happening? I didn’t understand why this was happening. I thought God gave everyone second chances. My father had gotten his and took advantage of it. He became a better father, a wonderful grandfather, and a good husband to Cathy.
It was time for me to leave. Still trying so hard to be brave, for him. I gave him a huge hug and a kiss and walked out to the car with my mother. I had just turned eighteen, I was graduating from high school the following week. Would my father be able to see me walk across the stage? Would he be able to see my get my diploma? Would he be able to see me go off to college? Would he be able to walk me down the isle when I got married? I knew the answers to these questions, I just didn’t want to believe it.
John L. Pastore was born September 9, 1947 in Saratoga, NY (Upstate New York). His parents were Josephine and Alfred Pastore. They were traditional Italian parents, who screamed at each other in Italian frequently. My father had one brother, his name was Chuck. I don’t know much about him besides what my mother and sister have told me. I met him once, at my grandmother’s funeral. My mom told me to keep my distance because he was ‘crazy.’ I don’t really have memories of my Grandfather seeing as he passed away when I was around three. I do have many pictures of him though. A skinny man, with dark sunken in eyes, and a big nose. I have very vivid memories of my grandmother. She definitely scared me a little when I was younger. She was very loud and outspoken. She had grayish hair, she wore big glasses, and she always wore red lipstick. She passed away when I was in seventh grade.
My father grew up in Ballston Spa, New York, in an Italian neighborhood. They didn’t move around a lot, my father pretty much stayed in the same area until he got older. He lived in Syracuse for awhile, then moved to Fulton, and then lived in Oswego for the remainder of his life (all in Upstate New York). I don’t know too much about my father’s childhood, and now that he’s not around and none of his family members besides my sister and brothers are around, I have to just go on what I remember and what I have been told.
My grandparents didn’t drink and they never had drinking problems. I always thought was a little strange because I thought that alcoholism had to be genetic; that’s not the case. When my dad wasn’t drinking during the day he would be on valium to get him through until he could have that beer. Alcoholism is not always hereditary. Alcoholism can also be affected by someone’s environment and surroundings. If a person is out with friends and everyone is drinking, they may feel the pressure in that situation and want to drink. However, Alcoholism, is in some cases, linked to genetics.
According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), a person’s risk of developing alcoholism is 60% determined by his or her genetics and 40% caused by his or her environment (Soinski).

John met his second wife Mary (my mother) in 1975. They got married after two years of dating. My mother knew of the problem when she met him, but she was young and thought she could change him. My father had an alcohol addiction that grew as the marriage went on. John and Mary had their first child together in 1981, my brother Curtis. In 1986 they had me. My parents divorced soon after I was born; I was around nine months old when she left him. She had finally had enough of the drinking. I don’t remember the fights or the alcohol abuse. My mom says that my brother Curtis can still recall some memories, but he won’t talk about it. She said my dad would drink all day. He would go to work and then go out and drink. Drinking never affected his work, he always had a job and it never interfered. My mom also said that when he drank he would get mean and pushy, and also verbally abusive.
My sister, my brother Curtis, and I, have stayed away from consuming large amounts of alcohol. When we do drink, it is in moderation because we know alcohol addiction is something that could latch onto us. My brother Matt is following in the same footsteps of my father, the footsteps before he got sober.
My father had another addiction that added to his death: smoking. Smoking and drinking would go hand in hand for him. Smoking is the lead cause of Cancer in the United States, and leads to thousands of deaths. After my father stopped drinking he needed a substitute. There came his third addiction: coffee. I would never see my father without a cup of coffee with him. He always smelled like coffee and cigarettes. To this day, when I smell that combination, I get sad and think of my father. It’s very common to see someone out at a bar with a cigarette in their hand. It’s easy to smoke a cigarette and not drink, but it doesn’t look like it’s as easy to be able to drink and not have a cigarette. Smoking is just as addictive as drinking.
People get addicted to alcohol for many different reasons. “Alcohol triggers the release of dopamine- a chemical which produces feelings of satisfaction” (Ryan). If something satisfies you, you’re going to want to continue to do it to get that feeling again, which then would cause cravings and addictions (Ryan). Alcoholism is something that affects millions of families. In a study, it has shown that more than 30% of adults have had an alcohol abuse problem. This study is based on an interview conducted with more than 43,000 adults between the years of 2001 and 2002 (Hitti).
I am by no means trying to say that my father was perfect after he got sober. He was far from that. I can recall a moment in my life, when I was four years old that will stick with me forever. While my father was still an alcoholic he had gotten his pilot’s license and would fly a small private plane frequently, flying was his passion after he was sober. My brother and I had stayed over my father’s house for a weekend, which was located approximately forty five minutes from my mother’s house. He decided he would fly us home that day, and it’s a day that will always be graphic in my memory.
I was walking out to the plane with my brother and father thinking I was a cool little kid, I was walking around with my eyes closed. I said, “Daddy! Daddy! Watch me!” and then BOOM. I walked head first into the propeller of one of the air planes. Luckily the propeller was off, but it still sliced my forehead and top of my head open pretty wide; nineteen years later I still have the scar to prove it. I was completely shocked and scared, with blood dripping down my forehead and face. I can remember just running to him totally shook up not really believing what had just happened. I just wanted to get cleaned up and feel better. My dad didn’t take me to the hospital that day. He put me on the plane and flew me to my mother, who then took me to the hospital. I was so scared; I was just a little kid, and I had just walked into a propeller of an airplane! That’s just one example of the un-fatherly like things that my father had done. I believe that the alcohol could have effected him and his emotions in a way that maybe he didn’t know how to be a father in the nurturing way.
Alcohol effects many different areas of the brain, and at different times. “The limbic system controls emotions and memory. As alcohol effects this system, the person is subject to exaggerated states of emotion (anger, aggressiveness, withdrawal) and memory loss” (How). Even though at the time of my incident my father had been three or more years sober, the alcohol could have still affected his emotions.
My mother said by father was the best father that he could be. I didn’t understand what that meant until I got older. His emotions were different than other people’s emotions. He tried his best to be there for us, but his best was not always good enough, especially for my oldest brother Matt.
My father mixed mine and my sister’s names up all the time, along with my brothers’ names. This could have just been a mistake, many parents do that often. However, this could also have been an effect of the alcohol. Memory loss is one of the long term effects of drinking too much. “Not only can people fail to remember what went on during a heavy session, persistent heavy drinkers can develop memory loss problems” (Long). My father had a very limited memory, he forgot things quickly. As he got older, and when he was sick, his memory started to fade more and more.
I can’t talk to my brother Curtis about my father. I have tried numerous times but he won’t talk about him. He even gets angry at me when I try and ask questions about his childhood. My brother was young when my dad was around and had his drinking problem. My mom thinks he might remember the fights and my dad’s drunkenness. I tried asking him about it, he said he didn’t remember, he got angry with me and said, “Some things are better left unspoken.” This makes me wonder of what he did see and experience as a young child. He has a hard time expressing his emotions in general, but when it comes to my father he just closes up.
My sister has no problem talking to me about my father. We are a lot alike in that sense. From my understanding of the person he was back then, to the person he had become before he passed, there was a huge significant difference, and change, in a good way. When I was younger, I didn’t get to see my father as much as I would have liked to. As I got older, I was in charge of that. I could call him or my stepmother and tell them I was coming up for the weekend or that I wanted to see them. My father also called me more to talk and wanted to see me more as I got older. I had really tried to get close to my dad the last couple years of his life. And he really tried to be a better father, which he accomplished. When I was younger he was just beginning to get sober, and as I got older he got more secure with his sobriety, which made him more secure as a father.
People tend to drink for many different reasons. It may help them relax, or reduce their anxiety, it may even help deal with stress. Alcohol only helps with these problems in the short-term sense. In reality drinking will only make someone’s problems get worse (Ryan).
My father went to AA meetings frequently, they are what helped him get sober and make it through. AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous, they are a group of recovering alcoholics who meet together to talk about their struggles with alcohol. My father was the type of person who loved to talk about himself. He just loved to talk, period. AA was a great way for him to get out how he was feeling and express his emotions about his addiction. If it wasn’t for AA, I’m not sure if my father would have ever have gotten sober. Alcoholism is a disease; a disease that is extremely hard to recover from. In the big blue book called Alcoholics Anonymous it says, “If a person has cancer all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so with the alcoholic illness, for with it goes annihilation of all things worth while in life (Alcoholics 18).” Nobody feels sorry for an alcoholic; they feel angry and hurt. This is probably because alcoholism is a disease that can be controlled, whereas cancer is not. In Alcoholics Anonymous they believe in finding a spiritual power to guide them to be sober. The big book of AA talks about God being the spiritual power, and leading them to get back in control of their lives. The book also talks about not having to believe in God to get sober, but believing in a higher spiritual power, whatever someone’s beliefs may be. My father believed in that higher spiritual power. He didn’t go to Church often, but I knew God was what changed him, what made him want to be sober.
I recently attended my first Al-Anon meeting. Al-Anon is for children or spouses of an alcoholic. It was not what I expected at all. What I had been expecting was a group of people, both men and women. I pictured them sitting in a big circle, discussing their difficulties with their spouses and family members drinking problems. It was all women. There were no men there, only women talking about their problems with men. It is very rare that your hear of a man talking about his abusive alcoholic wife; it is usually the reversed situation. “Alcoholism is 2-½ times more common in men than women” (Need). A person’s emotional status, problems with a job or in a family, as well as someone’s hormones are counted for when determining this factor (Need). You would think that a woman’s emotional state, and problems in her life would drive her to drink more frequently than a male. Women tend to drink alone more often than men do. Men go out to bars and drink with their friends, they may do it in a social scene more often than a woman would.
Alcoholism is a disease that starts off gradually. A person may have one or two drinks in moderation but as time goes on those drink could increase to the point where they cannot control themselves any longer (Alcoholics 21). “Some drinkers have excuses with which they are satisfied part of the time. But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it “ (Alcoholics23). Some people may blame work or their spouse, but in actuality that’s not why they drink. In Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a quote, often heard but it is also very true, “’Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic”’ (Alcoholics 33). An alcoholic is always an alcoholic, whether their sober or not. If they were to take one sib of alcohol they would fall right back into the addiction. There are symptoms associated with Alcoholism: Cravings, control loss, withdrawal symptoms and a high tolerance (Hitti). A paragraph in the Alcoholics Anonymous book that I feel like many people can relate to goes as follows:
More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his
heart he doesn’t deserve it (73).

I haven’t spoken to my oldest brother Matt in about eleven years, so asking him about my father won’t work. He stopped talking to my dad for about the last seven years of his life. To this day I do not know the full story behind that. The conclusion which makes the most sense is that my dad was never there for Matt when he was young. He divorced his mother and married mine, along with my father’s strong alcohol addiction. Matt didn’t go see my father when he was sick, he didn’t even go to the wake or funeral.
People need to take into huge consideration the children and spouses of the alcoholic. That person’s disease affects their loved ones more than they may think. They can push people away, or create worse problems and difficulties in their lives. Someone who grows up in an alcoholic environment could develop an addiction of their own. One of the things that they teach you at Al-Anon is not to give advice, but to give guidance. They don’t tell a person how to live their life, but try to lead by example and show them the right thing to do. The loved ones of the alcoholic often need as much help in their lives than the actual alcoholic needs for recovery.
I sat in this meeting, feeling totally lost and out of place. I am a product of an alcoholic but I didn’t experience the alcoholism first hand. I sat there and listened to these women’s stories about their problems and issues with men in their life. I had nothing to say but I just listened, and me being there just to listen to them helped them cope with what they were dealing with.
Alcoholics Anonymous has a twelve step process for recovery. Al-Anon uses those twelve steps for their own recovery. “In Al-Anon, we strive for an ever-deeper understanding of these Steps, and pray for the wisdom to apply them to our lives” (Al-Anon). These women in this meeting lived by these twelve steps. They memorized them and knew them all off the top of their heads. They applied these steps to their everyday life, and literately lived by them.
The first step in AA is, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol- that our lives had become unmanageable” (Al-Anon). This step seems prominent in what made my father want to change. His life had become unmanageable, his wife leaving him and possibly losing contact with his children. He decided to adapt to these twelve steps and change his life.
Step number nine states, “Made a list of all persons we harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all” (Al-Anon). After reading these steps, particularly this one, I began to have a better understanding of what my dad went through to become sober. He began to make amends with his children, even with the one who was unwilling.
John Pastore influenced and touched many people in his life, myself being one of them. He made me want to be a better person and want to better myself. I hope that I can make him proud and follow in his footsteps of being a successful woman, without turning to drugs or alcohol to help me through my problems.
My father was only sick a short time before he passed away. It all happened so fast it was hard to take in. it’s been four years and I’m still coping with his death. One day my father had called me and told me that he had pains in his legs, that he went to the hospital but everything would be ok. A week later I had gotten a call from my stepmother telling me that my dad could no longer walk and that he was in the hospital, she was upset but optimistic. A few days later he was in the Intensive Care unit.
He had been a smoker most of his life, and the drinking added to it. His aorta was clogged with plaque from the smoking and drinking. He lost all circulation in his legs, and then to the rest of his body. He was hooked up to dialyses for a week or so. When he was in the hospital his mind was all mixed up. He barely knew who I was, he thought he was still married to my mom and he didn’t know who is wife was.
He decided he didn’t want to go out as a vegetable, so he went off the dialyses and went home, knowing he would only live a few days after being off of it. The last time I saw my father, he was sickly and pale and it was so hard to look at him. However, the last time I saw my father really made me proud to be his daughter. He told me he was proud of me, and it showed me the fighter he really was. But little did he know how proud of him I was. I have so much pride inside of me to say that my father was seventeen years sober. To see a man who went from having an addiction that messed up his whole life, to a father who tried very hard to be there for his children and wife.
Exactly one week after my father passed I graduated from high school. It was one of the hardest days of my life, not having my dad there to see me walk across the stage. I was very naïve when he was sick, I really thought there would be a chance he would be there. However, I knew he was watching me from a higher place. When I walked across the stage they handed me my diploma as well as a rose. They had told us to give the rose to someone who had made an impact in our lives, and influenced us. I knew exactly where that rose was going. I met my stepmother outside the auditorium and asked her if she would put the rose on my fathers grave for me. He has influenced my life in ways that I’m just beginning to understand.

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Sara Pastore- A SUNY Purchase college graduate living in the bronx. Artist and part time model.

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Health>
Diseases and Conditionsl
Mar 19, 2011

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